Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
