Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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