And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
handjob tips. give me some.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize