everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
