have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The air taste purple.
Randomize
