Pappa wants mamma naked
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
