Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
