Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
