there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
