oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
