So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
