kristin has been a bad kristin
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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