So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
