How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
