Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
