I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize