Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
