Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
