This girl is more easily done than said...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
