don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
