How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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