I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
