You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
