Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
