I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
