Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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