I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
