babies were throwing up all over the place
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
