I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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