does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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