I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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