wake up i wanna do it froggy style
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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