Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
