Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
