she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
