i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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