hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
