508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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