I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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