We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
