Christians are straight up FREAKS
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
