A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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