How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
