when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
