but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
