Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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