My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize