I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He shit in the fireplace
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
