her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
