so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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