I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
