glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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