Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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