I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish you could order shots online.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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