In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
