Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
