i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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