as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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