She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
