miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize