it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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