i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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