I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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