the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
