Im at strip club and am horny
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
