At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
