Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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