then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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