I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
